I Quit My Job and It Was the Best Decision I Made in 2018

I was quite the busy little bee in 2018! I took some risks, had some misadventures, caused some chaos, made some memories, and accomplished some goals.  More significantly, I made some tough decisions that brought me a sense of peace and joy I haven't had in years.

When I moved to Maryland in 2017, I experienced the same nervous excitement I had when my parents dropped me off at college my freshman year in 2009. Eight years later, I was moving to the East Coast on my own.  I was starting graduate school at Johns Hopkins University and (as a requirement of my program) planning to teach middle school.  I'd heard horror stories about some of the schools in Maryland, but I thought I would be fine since I had accepted a job at a charter school with a national reputation for maintaining high standards and student achievement.  It's funny how wrong you can be sometimes!

My interview was done over the phone, my references were stellar, and my demo lesson was a video compilation of teaching clips I'd spliced together.  I was offered the job the same day, without meeting anyone in person or seeing the school for myself.  My excitement quickly melted into skepticism.  I thought to myself, "Why would anyone hire a teacher who lives out of state without actually meeting them?"  I dismissed the skepticism and settled on believing that I was more than qualified for the job and highly capable of being effective.  With limited job options and grad school hanging in the balance, I accepted the position.  I was headstrong, confident, and miscalculated the risks.

Fast forward to my first day at the school, where I sat in a welcome meeting with more than 15 new teachers.  There was no discipline system, too many administrators with different agendas, and the building was not climate controlled. We looked around at each other with varying degrees of confusion, as we were told that teachers stayed at the school for years and years because it was such a great place to work.  We were given an overview of the school's homogenous demographics, assigned a laptop and cell phone, and taken on a tour of the dilapidated facilities.

By mid-year, the school was in absolute shambles.  Between the beginning of the school year and the start of the second semester, 14 staff members had quit, including two administrators.  The discipline system was still "evolving", teachers were being micromanaged, and learning seemed to be the lowest of the school's priorities.  My blood pressure was abnormally high, I had migraines every week, and the school nurse saw me daily.  Walking into my classroom everyday felt like walking through the gates of hell, so one day I decided to start holding class in the hallway.  News of this traveled outside of the school, and I was moved to a cooler classroom at the end of the week.  The staff meetings were frequent and pointless, staff bonding was mandatory and often painful, and student respect for teachers was optional.  My graduate adviser watched every week as my passion for education dwindled and my desire to leave the field altogether grew.  I decided that I just needed to get through the school year, and I did.

Again, I was wrong.

Administration did a horrible thing and sent my department to training for three days at the end of the school year.  It was in New Orleans and it should have been fabulous.  I mean, who doesn't have fun in New Orleans?!  Ha!  The trip was so bad that I took a separate Lyft to the training sessions, and when it was time to leave I hid in the airport until we boarded our flight back to Maryland.

I left for the summer and regrouped.  I hated everything about my school.  The only redeeming aspect of the entire ordeal was that I was halfway finished with my graduate program.  Quitting the program wasn't an option; it was the reason I moved to Maryland in the first place.  I strongly considered leaving the charter school, but the idea of starting over at a new school did not seem all that appealing.  Still, I put my resume out in a few surrounding school districts over the summer, but didn't come across anything worth me taking a significant pay cut.  I figured that if I went back to the same school, I would have a better sense of what to expect and could manage the stress of the job a bit more strategically.

Wrong a third time.

I came back to a slew of new changes. A new principal. A new grade level assignment. A new classroom. A new curriculum. New coworkers to replace all the ones who quit over the summer, several of whom I actually liked.  A whole lot of new in the same dilapidated building.  However, the chaos from the previous year wasn't the same. Nope, it was much worse.  My blood pressure had normalized over the summer, but was once again abnormally high when I returned to work in August for professional development.  Over the next few weeks, I listened to teachers under 30 compare new blood pressure medications and anxiety pills they'd been prescribed over the summer, and I watched the business cards of therapists from around the city circulate among my coworkers.  That's when I decided that no one should have to live like that, not when there are other options.  In mid-September, a few weeks into the school year, I decided I was going to teach somewhere else or move back to Nashville at the end of the semester.  It happened sooner.  I left my job and abandoned my misadventure in Maryland at the end of October.

There is an overwhelming sense of peace in knowing that you've made the right decision for your life.  I found that peace the second I decided I was going to quit my job.

I've encountered countless individuals who wholeheartedly hate their jobs.  I've come to realize that people remain in miserable, toxic work environments for a variety of reasons: financial security, familial obligation, comfort, fear of the unknown, lack of faith, etc.  Had my own circumstances been different, I would have feared leaving my job the way that I did.  Thank God for a great support system!

Quitting my job reminded me to not fear the unknown, but embrace possibility. It taught me that you can't really be comfortable if you're miserable.  It taught me that it's perfectly fine to save yourself and abandon a sinking ship.  Finally, it showed me that peace of mind comes from trusting the decisions you make, even when you have to make another decision to fix the one before.

Since quitting my job, I've moved to another state and started teaching in another school.  I love where I am now.  I don't loathe waking up everyday and going to work.  My skin is clear and dewy, my hair is growing, and my blood pressure is normal.  I'm no longer unpacking while simultaneously planning my next adventure.  I joke a lot with family and friends that wherever the wind blows that's where I'm headed.  For me, there's joy in that freedom.

Interestingly enough, the wind seems to have stopped blowing and I've learned there's joy in that, too. It might be nice to stay where I am for a while.