7 Things About Life that I've Learned from Teaching
Well it's the middle of my second year of teaching, and I am currently relishing the last few days of winter break. What better time to reflect on my life and what I’ve learned so far while teaching? Actually, there were many more opportune times to do this (like three months ago when I first drafted the list), but I’m procrastinating going to bed and this seems like the perfect distraction. I’ve compiled a list of the most important things I’ve learned in the last 8 months about myself, life, and people. Some were brutally hard lessons to learn. Others were discovered more subtly over a bottle of wine after a long day of work. Whatever the case may be, each number on this list has allowed me to grow in some way.
1. Appreciate the small gains.
I have a student (we’ll refer to this student as X) who frustrates me daily and immensely. He does nothing. It’s almost like he wants to be an extra on the Walking Dead. It’s been this way since the first week of school. All I wanted is for X to TRY. Well one day in November, X decides to actually bring books to class, complete homework, & study for an exam. At this point in the year, I’d about had it with X’s laziness and had given up most hope for redemption. Lo and behold this kid gets a B on the exam! After class that day, X walks up to my desk and says, “See Ms. Williams, I had to show you that I could do it, I had to prove it to myself, too. I ain’t never studied so hard in my whole life!” I was proud of the kid, I let X know it, too. That was the last time X studied for anything in my class. Now the kid just tells me he doesn’t feel like it. Unbelievable.
I thought about the whole situation one day after work and decided to bottle up that feeling of pride I had in X the week the kid decided to be a student. I’d spent months trying to get a kid to care and for one week, I did. In that one week, I felt was able to reach a kid I hadn’t been able to reach in four months. It felt great. That kid taught me something. In every situation, there’s only so much you can do. Sometimes your efforts are fruitful, sometimes they’re futile. No matter what, there’s always something to appreciate. I don’t believe that anything is completely fruitless. You may have to really dig deep, but there’s always something to appreciate, even if it’s infinitesimally small in the grand scheme of things.
2. There’s never enough time in a day. Do what you can, the rest will still be there tomorrow.
When I was a kid, I remember my dad always telling me, “Do what you can, the rest will still be there tomorrow.” I didn’t understand it then, I couldn’t grasp the concept of not finishing something and having to pick up the next day doing yesterday’s tasks. That’s probably why I was always stressed out in high school and college. Now I understand it completely. There are days when I have 6 post-its stuck to my desk and all of them have task or list of tasks written on them with a “complete by” date on them. These are the same days I’m still at school until 5 or 6pm. Well I’ve learned to stop putting those stupid “complete by” dates on everything. Now I can leave work (guilt-free), with a pile of ungraded papers and unfinished note packets on my desk and, guess what?! They’re still there waiting for me at 7am the next day. As always, my dad was right. Those sticky notes or those piles of ungraded papers have never disappeared overnight.
3. Your 20s actually do matter.
You bloggers on Thought Catalog and Elite Daily and Buzzfeed have been selling us millennials dreams based on lies, fairy tales, and fallacies, for far too long. You know who isn’t ignoring my 20s behavior?! Sallie Mae. She still wants her money. Know who else?? Credit card companies. When I’m thousands of dollars in debt at 30 because I went to Vegas and Paris and Dubai in the same year because I believed “your twenties are a great time to travel” or because I quit my rent-paying job because I bought the whole “you’re too young to work a job you hate, so quit” crap, I bet Visa, MasterCard, and American Express won’t give me a pass! I’m sure I’ll be homeless if I “forget” to pay rent to many times, too. They won’t care if I’m in my 20s either. 100 impressionable kids everyday remind me that my 20s matter. No kid ever forgets the young teacher who got fired for inappropriate behavior. I’m sure that stays with you when you apply for other jobs, too. Your 20s matter. Don’t for a second think otherwise.
4. Never buy just one bottle of wine.
Alright, time to connect the dots. I grade papers and lesson plan almost every evening after work. I have these great stemless wine glasses. Two glasses and the bottle is empty. That’s enough for Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday means I need a new bottle. Thursday is Shonda night. Three shows, one glass per show, that’s two bottles. Get the picture? No one hates going to the store three times in a week more than me, and if you do, you’re a masochist. General rule: When purchasing wine, buy a minimum of two bottles.
5. The time for accepting s**t from people has long gone.
I tell my students, “At this point in the year, I expect better. I won’t accept poop assignments.”
Same goes with people. If all you’re offering is bull*s**t, you won’t exist in my life. See, I believe you’re either three things in life: beneficial, harmful (toxic), or stagnant. Here’s the thing about stagnant people, you’re not directly harmful, but you aren’t helping foster personal growth either. You’re closer to being indirectly harmful rather than beneficial, so your presence is trivial.
I’ve learned that people will continue to give you what you accept. I had to eliminate the toxic and be mindful of the stagnancy around me. I’m a happier person because of it.
6. People really do need people.
Eleven and twelve-year-old kids are the best examples of people just wanting to belong to a group. They understand that they need people and they will sacrifice so much of themselves just to belong. It’s a little sad and also a sobering reminder of how this doesn’t really change as we get older. In fact, it gets worse before it gets better. Thankfully, I think I’m past the worst of it.
When I first started teaching, at least for the first two months, I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. I knew I needed support and some guidance and I knew I needed it fast. I needed people. I prayed and soon after that God sent me help from so many directions. It was amazing. We weren’t meant to navigate life alone. I’m a firm believer in that. The hardest part is finding people who genuinely care.
7. Life is going to happen anyway, just be patient.
Once or twice a month (usually when bills are due), I get Peter Pan syndrome and wish I never grew up. All those other days, I’m constantly reminded of all of the things that are out of my control. I can’t control what mood my students are going to be in when they get to school, or how they are going to react to the different situations they encounter throughout the day. Even though I wish I could, I can’t control whether or not they understand everything I’m teaching them. Some days they struggle more, some less, and on rare days I think they’re little geniuses. I never know what kind of day they’ll have, and, for the most part, I’m okay with that. My students have pulled a new level of patience out of me. For that I’m grateful.
I’ve learned to take this approach in other aspects of my life. I try not to think about all the what-ifs that could happen and the things I wish had happened differently. I can’t control any of that. No matter what I do or don’t do, life is going to happen regardless. I can get frustrated and pissed off and impatient, but none of those things will affect what was always going to happen. The only thing I can control is how I react and how I adapt. Knowing when and how to exercise patience is a huge part of that.
Life happens, I just have to adapt and survive.
Original Posting Date: March 30. 2015
1. Appreciate the small gains.
I have a student (we’ll refer to this student as X) who frustrates me daily and immensely. He does nothing. It’s almost like he wants to be an extra on the Walking Dead. It’s been this way since the first week of school. All I wanted is for X to TRY. Well one day in November, X decides to actually bring books to class, complete homework, & study for an exam. At this point in the year, I’d about had it with X’s laziness and had given up most hope for redemption. Lo and behold this kid gets a B on the exam! After class that day, X walks up to my desk and says, “See Ms. Williams, I had to show you that I could do it, I had to prove it to myself, too. I ain’t never studied so hard in my whole life!” I was proud of the kid, I let X know it, too. That was the last time X studied for anything in my class. Now the kid just tells me he doesn’t feel like it. Unbelievable.
I thought about the whole situation one day after work and decided to bottle up that feeling of pride I had in X the week the kid decided to be a student. I’d spent months trying to get a kid to care and for one week, I did. In that one week, I felt was able to reach a kid I hadn’t been able to reach in four months. It felt great. That kid taught me something. In every situation, there’s only so much you can do. Sometimes your efforts are fruitful, sometimes they’re futile. No matter what, there’s always something to appreciate. I don’t believe that anything is completely fruitless. You may have to really dig deep, but there’s always something to appreciate, even if it’s infinitesimally small in the grand scheme of things.
2. There’s never enough time in a day. Do what you can, the rest will still be there tomorrow.
When I was a kid, I remember my dad always telling me, “Do what you can, the rest will still be there tomorrow.” I didn’t understand it then, I couldn’t grasp the concept of not finishing something and having to pick up the next day doing yesterday’s tasks. That’s probably why I was always stressed out in high school and college. Now I understand it completely. There are days when I have 6 post-its stuck to my desk and all of them have task or list of tasks written on them with a “complete by” date on them. These are the same days I’m still at school until 5 or 6pm. Well I’ve learned to stop putting those stupid “complete by” dates on everything. Now I can leave work (guilt-free), with a pile of ungraded papers and unfinished note packets on my desk and, guess what?! They’re still there waiting for me at 7am the next day. As always, my dad was right. Those sticky notes or those piles of ungraded papers have never disappeared overnight.
3. Your 20s actually do matter.
You bloggers on Thought Catalog and Elite Daily and Buzzfeed have been selling us millennials dreams based on lies, fairy tales, and fallacies, for far too long. You know who isn’t ignoring my 20s behavior?! Sallie Mae. She still wants her money. Know who else?? Credit card companies. When I’m thousands of dollars in debt at 30 because I went to Vegas and Paris and Dubai in the same year because I believed “your twenties are a great time to travel” or because I quit my rent-paying job because I bought the whole “you’re too young to work a job you hate, so quit” crap, I bet Visa, MasterCard, and American Express won’t give me a pass! I’m sure I’ll be homeless if I “forget” to pay rent to many times, too. They won’t care if I’m in my 20s either. 100 impressionable kids everyday remind me that my 20s matter. No kid ever forgets the young teacher who got fired for inappropriate behavior. I’m sure that stays with you when you apply for other jobs, too. Your 20s matter. Don’t for a second think otherwise.
4. Never buy just one bottle of wine.
Alright, time to connect the dots. I grade papers and lesson plan almost every evening after work. I have these great stemless wine glasses. Two glasses and the bottle is empty. That’s enough for Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday means I need a new bottle. Thursday is Shonda night. Three shows, one glass per show, that’s two bottles. Get the picture? No one hates going to the store three times in a week more than me, and if you do, you’re a masochist. General rule: When purchasing wine, buy a minimum of two bottles.
5. The time for accepting s**t from people has long gone.
I tell my students, “At this point in the year, I expect better. I won’t accept poop assignments.”
Same goes with people. If all you’re offering is bull*s**t, you won’t exist in my life. See, I believe you’re either three things in life: beneficial, harmful (toxic), or stagnant. Here’s the thing about stagnant people, you’re not directly harmful, but you aren’t helping foster personal growth either. You’re closer to being indirectly harmful rather than beneficial, so your presence is trivial.
I’ve learned that people will continue to give you what you accept. I had to eliminate the toxic and be mindful of the stagnancy around me. I’m a happier person because of it.
6. People really do need people.
Eleven and twelve-year-old kids are the best examples of people just wanting to belong to a group. They understand that they need people and they will sacrifice so much of themselves just to belong. It’s a little sad and also a sobering reminder of how this doesn’t really change as we get older. In fact, it gets worse before it gets better. Thankfully, I think I’m past the worst of it.
When I first started teaching, at least for the first two months, I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. I knew I needed support and some guidance and I knew I needed it fast. I needed people. I prayed and soon after that God sent me help from so many directions. It was amazing. We weren’t meant to navigate life alone. I’m a firm believer in that. The hardest part is finding people who genuinely care.
7. Life is going to happen anyway, just be patient.
Once or twice a month (usually when bills are due), I get Peter Pan syndrome and wish I never grew up. All those other days, I’m constantly reminded of all of the things that are out of my control. I can’t control what mood my students are going to be in when they get to school, or how they are going to react to the different situations they encounter throughout the day. Even though I wish I could, I can’t control whether or not they understand everything I’m teaching them. Some days they struggle more, some less, and on rare days I think they’re little geniuses. I never know what kind of day they’ll have, and, for the most part, I’m okay with that. My students have pulled a new level of patience out of me. For that I’m grateful.
I’ve learned to take this approach in other aspects of my life. I try not to think about all the what-ifs that could happen and the things I wish had happened differently. I can’t control any of that. No matter what I do or don’t do, life is going to happen regardless. I can get frustrated and pissed off and impatient, but none of those things will affect what was always going to happen. The only thing I can control is how I react and how I adapt. Knowing when and how to exercise patience is a huge part of that.
Life happens, I just have to adapt and survive.
Original Posting Date: March 30. 2015
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